Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Why can't Oprah love herself?

I was so saddened to see Oprah announce to the world that she'd once again let her 'food addiction' fill the void in her SELF. Confronted with health problems and other issues--she went 'reactive' (0-5 on the Life Puzzle Choosing Continuum) and let her thyroid issues become her "I'm a victim/addictive voice" excuse. As a result, she gave her self permission to eat anything and reduce her exercising.

The result--she'd topped 200lbs and was totally embarrassed and ashamed to let her audience see that once again she's become a victim to the old pattern. On one level it is hard to imagine that the woman who sat for 10 weeks talking with Eckhart Tolle on how we 'create our own reality' could so easily relapse into the victim story that she'd learned early in her life (and which many of us also learn). She has the knowledge to hear that 'victim/addictive voice' and know it only has power over her if she chooses--and yet, she chose to give in to it.

One of my clients brought this up in session--saying that if the "wealthiest woman, with all the support staff and services at her fingertips" couldn't manage her 'addictive voice', how was she going to be able to do it? So, I turned the question around to my client and said, "Tell me, what do you believe is different for you?". This stumped her for a second--but then she said, "I'm fighting for my SELF and I know that if I keep my 'edges' or boundaries strong, then my SELF stays strong. And the second I feel like giving in to old patterns--I can literally 'see' my edges breaking open and watch my SELF give up. I don't want to give up my SELF any more.

So, then I asked my client--why do you think Oprah can't hold her SELF as so valuable/loving that she continues to do this rollercoaster of letting outside events, issues, health problems blow open her edges/boundaries and watch her self be taken over/play the victim? In other words, why isn't SELF love so comfortable/calming/a way of life for her--in spite of the fact that she has so many things and opportunities? My client couldn't figure it out....and I don't know if I can either--other than to say--that the experiences of Oprah's abusive childhood have left a wound/perception that Oprah still let's have power over her--and that wound is "You'll never be good enough". I see it in so many people who, in spite of lots of other successes, keep running that story inside their brains and apparently think it is impossible to let go.

But it isn't. We are all enough--we were born enough--The biggest lie of our culture--a culture that pits us against each other as a way of making everyone compete for the 'good enough spot' is teaching children early on that they're never 'good enough'. This is a no win game--and people play it for a lifetime. Stop playing it Oprah--you are enough--wake up every day and live in SELF love so comfortable/caring and a way of life that when ever that old voice rises again--you can say "Enough now, enough".

1 comment:

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